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How Social Media Is Making People Choose Friends Based on How They Look

Would you give this woman a space on your grid?

Charlie Brown
Bitchy
Published in
6 min readJul 19, 2024
Image courtesy of author

If it was your friends in the above photo and you were posting it on social media, would you crop out the woman?

If so, why? Just because it’s an unflattering photo of her, or because she doesn’t fit into the vibe of your Insta grid compared to the good-looking guys beside her? (In my defense, my face was stuffed full of delicious cheese, and I was having a wonderful time).

It turns out that for some people, it’s the latter. So much so, there is a new, trend afoot where people are choosing friends based on how they look in their social media feeds.

If you’re not attractive enough, don’t have the right look, or are in any way photographically challenged, not only might you not make someone’s grid, you might be out of their friendship group entirely.

You’d be forgiven for thinking the idea of friendships based on aesthetics is clickbait. Sensationalism. Sure, some residents of influencer land might do this, but not normal people. Right??

Well, not quite.

Choosing friends based on their attractiveness is not a new thing. But social media has made it so much worse.

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Bitchy
Bitchy

Published in Bitchy

Thought-provoking essays on gender, identity, and culture through the feminist lens.

Charlie Brown
Charlie Brown

Written by Charlie Brown

Food, wine & culture writer. 12+ years in hospitality. Editor of Rooted, a Medium food & drink pub. thesaucemag.substack.com

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